Funny Quotes about Facebook Status

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I named my hard drive 'That Ass' so once a month my computer asks me if I want to back 'That Ass' up.	880 up, 100 down

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Dear vending machines, I'm sorry if my dollar isn't straight enough for you. Sincerely, stop being so homophobic.	630 up, 90 down

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Dr: Are you sexually active? Me: Yes I'm a Facebook whore.

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Sometimes at home I talk in my sleep, but at school I sleep while others are talking.

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My parents told me 'You watch too much TV and should try reading more!' So I turned on the subtitles.	882 up, 73 down

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I probably could stand a chance on American Idol if I could bring my shower on stage.

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Hopefully one day your life will be as cool as you make it appear on Facebook.

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Opening your cabinet, seeing there's about to be an avalanche of stuff falling, and quickly closing it for the next person to deal with.

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If someone texts 'K', just reply with 'L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z'	841 up, 192 down

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I was complimented on my driving today. Someone left a note on my windshield that said, 'Parking Fine'

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Face book provides all its users with a platform to speak their mind. Face book users can share their thoughts, views and opinions with other members, whom they have added as their friend. The best part about face book status is it can vary as per the mood of the face book user. He or she can express his or her joy, happiness, grief, sorrow or any kind of feeling or emotion that is currently being felt. Face book status is just a means by which all the face book users indicate their “Status Quo” or their present state of affairs to all their friends and connected users. In the words of Ronald Reagan, “Status quo, you know, is Latin for 'the mess we're in'.” Face book status is one attractive feature of face book. If any friend likes your face book status, then he or she can express his appreciation for the status by using the “like option”.