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All our life our parents told us not to write on walls. Facebook teaches us differently.

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My Mother's Day gift to you is not deleting the embarrassing comments you make on my Facebook Wall.

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Let's set aside time this Mother's Day to mock the disintegrating sex lives of our friends with children.

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I love you slightly more than I love dad.

19 up, 9 down

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You've always been a great mom because of your patience, sense of humor, and fondness for daytime drinking.

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I love how we don't even need to say out loud that I'm your favorite child.

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Mom, thanks for bringing me into a world where love can be expressed electronically.

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For enduring the bloodcurdling torture of my adolescent years I promise to always keep your electronics functional.

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Mom, thanks for not being famous enough to adopt a black baby instead of having me.

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For all the love you've given me, I will one day pay your nursing home bill.

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Featured Quote: "I'm okay today. I'll be okay tomorrow. And the next day after that I'll still be okay. But in a year you will see me, I'll be amazing."

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Wednesday, May 22

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A witty person is any person who possesses a sharp mind which is quite vigilant and receptive. Witty people can grasp things quickly and have a great intellect or sense of understanding. Witty people can even associate two objects or entities which hardly have any relation and surprise everyone with the kind of association that they establish. According to George Dennison Prentice, “A word of kindness is seldom spoken in vain, while witty sayings are as easily lost as the pearls slipping from a broken string.” A witty person is a man of genius who has a great sense of humor and repartee. He often comes with humorous and amusing sayings which sound good to the ear and you tend to appreciate the person for all the wit and intellect that he has to offer. According to Irvin S. Cobb, “A woman may have a witty tongue or a stinging pen but she will never laugh at her own individual shortcomings.”