Login

· Sign Up

Ted quotes Collection of quotes added by Ted. Ted Quotes About:  Funny   Dieting   Fitness Jokes   Funny Facebook Status   Being Fat   Jokes   Sex   Twitter   Sarcastic   Short   Clever Facebook Status   Words   Language   Questioning   Restaurants   Humor   Celebrity   Music   Silly   Restaurants   Jealousy   Cartoons   Humor   Bad Mood   Bitchy   Bad Day   Attitude   Annoying People   Witty Facebook Status   Poetry   Valentines Day   Arguments   Ugliness   Choice   Women   Facebook Status   Songs   Leave Me Alone   Fuck Off   Being Annoyed   I Hate You   Girls   Gay   Friends   Facebook   Witty   People   Nature   Weather  Sorted by: New | Most Popular Total: 71 Quotes I accidentally bumped into my ex today...With my car...at 60mph...on purpose. 688 up, 96 down  Unknown quotes  | added by: ted  Funny Facebook Status quotes   Funny quotes   Ex Girlfriend quotes   Ex Boyfriend quotes   Bitterness quotes  favorite   Show Comments (0) Share a Comment/Meaning 500 characters max. Refrain from use of abusive language. subfail For April Fools Day, I think Facebook should switch the search box and the status update box around. So people would post updates on who they stalk. 579 up, 110 down  Unknown quotes  | added by: ted  Funny quotes   April Fools Day quotes   Facebook quotes   Funny Facebook Status quotes  favorite   Show Comments (0) Share a Comment/Meaning 500 characters max. Refrain from use of abusive language. subfail Telling someone their breath smells without hurting their feelings...'Well I'm bored, let's go brush our teeth!' 493 up, 40 down  Unknown quotes  | added by: ted  Funny Facebook Status quotes   Clever Facebook Status quotes  favorite   Show Comments (0) Share a Comment/Meaning 500 characters max. Refrain from use of abusive language. subfail My girlfriend caught me blow drying my penis...She asked what was I doing. Apparently, 'heating up your dinner' wasn't a sexy answer. 508 up, 97 down  Unknown quotes  | added by: ted  Funny Facebook Status quotes   Men quotes   Sex quotes  favorite   Show Comments (0) Share a Comment/Meaning 500 characters max. Refrain from use of abusive language. subfail Say this out loud five times fast! 'I won a math debate.' 494 up, 94 down  Unknown quotes  | added by: ted  Funny Facebook Status quotes   Clever Facebook Status quotes   Jokes quotes  favorite   Show Comments (0) Share a Comment/Meaning 500 characters max. Refrain from use of abusive language. subfail White people: 'OMG! I LOVE THIS SONG!' Black people: 'OH HELL YEAH NIGGA THIS IS MY SHIT!' 476 up, 87 down  Unknown quotes  | added by: ted  Funny Facebook Status quotes   People quotes   Music quotes  favorite   Show Comments (0) Share a Comment/Meaning 500 characters max. Refrain from use of abusive language. subfail A penis has a rough life. His hair always looks a mess, he stays next to an asshole, his family is nuts, his best friends are pussies and his owner is always beating him. 398 up, 67 down  Unknown quotes  | added by: ted  Funny Facebook Status quotes  favorite   Show Comments (0) Share a Comment/Meaning 500 characters max. Refrain from use of abusive language. subfail The only 'B' word you should call a woman is beautiful. Bitches love to be called beautiful. 348 up, 45 down  Unknown quotes  | added by: ted  Funny Facebook Status quotes   Women quotes   Words quotes  favorite   Show Comments (0) Share a Comment/Meaning 500 characters max. Refrain from use of abusive language. subfail Dear Dora, how in the hell did do you get that tiny shirt to fit over your big head...Sincerely, thats physically impossible! 305 up, 30 down  Unknown quotes  | added by: ted  Funny Facebook Status quotes   Cartoons quotes   Humor quotes  favorite   Show Comments (1) 0 up, 0 down natashab317 It probably have Velcro or something Share a Comment/Meaning 500 characters max. Refrain from use of abusive language. subfail I just saved a whole bunch of money on my child support by switching to condoms. 315 up, 48 down  Unknown quotes  | added by: ted  Funny Facebook Status quotes   Sex quotes   Protection quotes  favorite   Show Comments (0) Share a Comment/Meaning 500 characters max. Refrain from use of abusive language. subfail Sign up to unlock more quotes and new features! 1  2   3   4   5   6  ...  8   Next

Home   Terms   Privacy   Sitemap   RSS   Contact