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Dennis Miller quotes

And quit bringing up our forefathers and saying they were civil libertarians. Our founding fathers would have never tolerated any of this crap. For God's sake, they were blowing peoples' heads off because they put a tax on their breakfast beverage. And it wasn't even coffee.

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Dennis Miller Quotes & Sayings

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Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.

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A good rule of thumb is if you've made it to thirty-five and your job still requires you to wear a name tag, you've made a serious vocational error.

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The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse.

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The average Americans day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charless dart board.

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Quotes by Dennis Miller

Featured Quote: "Dont mix bad words with your bad mood. You'll have many opportunities to change a mood, but you'll never get the opportunity to replace the words you spoke."

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New Updates! (5/23/2013) We've been working really hard on completing our new design and adding more member features. Once this is complete in the coming weeks there will be a lot more quotes by Dennis Miller and other authors. We've also changed the sorting on the site so you now see the latest Dennis Miller quotes first. Our goal is to have the best Dennis Miller quotes on the web!