Asking for a behavior change is like gardening. You wait for the right time of the season and then plant the seed. Once the seed is planted, you don't keep digging it up. You just water it and wait for it to sprout. In a similar way, if you want your partner to make a shift, ask her during the right season, which is never when you're upset. Then, once you plant the seed, don't dig it up. This means that once you make the request, don't argue with her to make her do it. Just assume that she needs time to consider the request and that she will do her best. By not arguing with her, you can be assured that for days she will think about your request and try to do it whenever possible.