Frank, open the door! I know you're in there! You got a woman in there? Fine, I am sick of your mess! Without any assistance or guidance from you, I have loved you assiduously for 8 months, 2 weeks, and a day. I been stood up 4 times, left 7 packages on your doorstep, 40 poems, 2 plants, 3 handmade notecards, and I had to leave town to send them. You call at 3 am in the morning on weekdays... charming, charming! But you have been of NO assistance! I want you to know what this has been an experiment... to see how selfish I could be. To see if I could really carry on to snare a possible lover. To see if I was capable of debasing myself for the love of another. To see if I could stand not being wanted when I want to be wanted and I can not, so without any further guidance or assistance from you, I am ending this affair!

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