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Rita Rudner quotes

Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, "Never take candy from strangers." And then they dressed me up and said, "Go beg for it." I didnt know what to do! Id knock on peoples doors and go, "Trick or treat." "No thank you."

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Rita Rudner Quotes & Sayings

Below are more quotes by Rita Rudner.

You know the oxygen masks on airplanes ? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.

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Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.

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I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups.

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Love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

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Rita Rudner quotes

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Quotes by Rita Rudner

Featured Quote: "When I miss you, I don't have to go far...I just have to look inside my heart because that's where I'll find you."

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New Updates! (5/25/2013) We've been working really hard on completing our new design and adding more member features. Once this is complete in the coming weeks there will be a lot more quotes by Rita Rudner and other authors. We've also changed the sorting on the site so you now see the latest Rita Rudner quotes first. Our goal is to have the best Rita Rudner quotes on the web!