Stephen Colbert Quotes & Sayings

Below are more quotes by Stephen Colbert.

God works in mysterious ways but at least he works, he's never on welfare in a mysterious way.

46 up, 18 down

Stephen Colbert quotes

Funny quotes Welfare quotes

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I know there are some polls out there saying this man has a 32% approval rating. But guys like us, we don't pay attention to the polls. We know that polls are just a collection of statistics that reflect what people are thinking in "reality." And reality has a well-known liberal bias.

4 up, 4 down

Stephen Colbert quotes

Reality quotes Statistics quotes

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Even the weather page is in a state of moral decay. Whats wrong with red, white and blue, USA Today? This rainbow weather map is just another example of the homometerological agenda.

7 up, 14 down

Stephen Colbert quotes

Weather quotes

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Stephen Colbert quotes

Reality quotes Statistics quotes

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Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces those decisions, and you people of the press type those decisions down. Make, announce, type. Just put 'em through a spell check and go home.

1 up, 0 down

Stephen Colbert quotes

Decision quotes Press quotes

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Stephen Colbert quotes

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Quotes by Stephen Colbert

Featured Quote: "Dont mix bad words with your bad mood. You'll have many opportunities to change a mood, but you'll never get the opportunity to replace the words you spoke."

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New Updates! (5/26/2013) We've been working really hard on completing our new design and adding more member features. Once this is complete in the coming weeks there will be a lot more quotes by Stephen Colbert and other authors. We've also changed the sorting on the site so you now see the latest Stephen Colbert quotes first. Our goal is to have the best Stephen Colbert quotes on the web!