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I look like I'm screaming here, but really I just quietly posed with my mouth wide open in mock-shock fashion because, edgy.
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As a matter of strategy, it's impossible to identify me in this group photo.
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I know what youre thinking, and yes, this photo is older than you are.
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I nagged the person who took this photo until they uploaded it to Facebook and tagged me in it, even though we were in the middle of the desert and they only had two bars of service.
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It took several attempts before I aced this photo of me jumping on a trampoline, a gimmick I employed to affect an air of whimsy and spontaneity.
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Ask me about what its like to have more money than you.
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I look nothing like this in real life.
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It's safe to say that if sucking it in were a sport, I'd be an Olympian.
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My face is kind of 'meh' here, but I like to think the outstanding cleavage makes up for it.
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Of course I didn't notice that you resemble the Elephant Man in my profile picture; I was distracted by how thin I look.
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Extensive Photoshop tutorials are responsible for how deep and blue my eyes appear, but if you ask I'll mumble something about it being 'golden hour.'
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