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Jason Segel quotes

I was making out with this woman, and my shirt was off, and she leaned over and, in a really cute, girly voice, went, 'Hey, fatty!'

Jason Segel quotes

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Jason Segel Quotes & Sayings

Below are more quotes by Jason Segel.

Part of growing up is not waiting in line at a hipster breakfast restaurant. The eggs taste the same across the street. I promise.

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If you can find the line between sympathetic and creepy, you have reached a very funny area.

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Jason Segel quotes

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Kermit was the Everyman, the original Tom Hanks, but I have a special place in my heart for Fozzie Bear. The classic borderline hacky entertainer.

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One of the great things about female nudity is that at least they have the comfort of knowing that men have all different kinds of preferences. There's not that many women out there who like small penises, but I think I came out all right. Let's see if I ever get a date.

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Jason Segel quotes

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Are we about to have some sort of wild west comedy tweet standoff? No one wins in this situation. Except me. But I was just saying thanks.

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Quotes by Jason Segel

Featured Quote: "Never stop doing little things for others. Sometimes those little things occupy the biggest part of their hearts."

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New Updates! (5/23/2013) We've been working really hard on completing our new design and adding more member features. Once this is complete in the coming weeks there will be a lot more quotes by Jason Segel and other authors. We've also changed the sorting on the site so you now see the latest Jason Segel quotes first. Our goal is to have the best Jason Segel quotes on the web!