Jack Handy quotes
If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror, because I bet that's what REALLY throws you into a panic.

 Jack Handy quotes 
 Love quotes 
Suggest Revision: If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror, because I bet that's what REALLY throws you into a panic.
 

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Jack Handy Quotes & Sayings

Below are more quotes by Jack Handy.
 Jack Handy quotes 
 Weakness quotes 
Suggest Revision: If you think a weakness can be turned into a strength, I hate to tell you this, but that's another weakness
 
 Jack Handy quotes 
 Relationships quotes   Richness quotes 
Suggest Revision: If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like I am now
 
 Jack Handy quotes 
 Opera quotes 
Suggest Revision: I'd like to see a nude opera, because when they hit those high notes, I bet you can really see it in those genitals
 
 Jack Handy quotes 
 Danger quotes   Cowardice quotes 
Suggest Revision: If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, Mr. Brave man, I guess I'm a coward.
 
 Jack Handy quotes 
 Cowardice quotes   Danger quotes 
Suggest Revision: If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, Mr. Brave man, I guess I'm a coward.
 
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