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Chelsea Handler quotes

Most men would never tell a girl her Pikachu smells like a crab cake. It's just not done. But they would have no qualms about telling their guy friends. Similarly, if you're a guy and you pull your pants down, and the girl you're with immediately stats text messaging her friends, you have a small penis. Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

Chelsea Handler quotes

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Chelsea Handler Quotes & Sayings

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I'll always be doing stand-up as long as people are still interested in seeing me.

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I have no idea why gay men love me, but I would have to assume it's because they know how much I love the gays! Everyone needs a good gay man in their life.

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I have more respect for somebody who's like, 'Yeah I like to party, so screw off,' then for Tara , who talks about not partying and ends up passed out underneath a Subway, not a subway station, but the actual sandwich shop - two days later.

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I went out with a guy who once told me I didn't need to drink to make myself more fun to be around. I told him, I'm drinking so that you're more fun to be around.

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The show is a behind-the-scenes look at what happens at our office when the cameras are off...A perfect platform for people who have no business being on camera.

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Quotes by Chelsea Handler

Featured Quote: "A strong friendship doesn't need daily conversation, doesn't always need togetherness, as long as the relationship lives in the heart, true friends will never part..."

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New Updates! (5/21/2013) We've been working really hard on completing our new design and adding more member features. Once this is complete in the coming weeks there will be a lot more quotes by Chelsea Handler and other authors. We've also changed the sorting on the site so you now see the latest Chelsea Handler quotes first. Our goal is to have the best Chelsea Handler quotes on the web!