Dennis Miller Quotes & Sayings

Below are more quotes by Dennis Miller.

Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.

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Dennis Miller quotes

Funny quotes Christmas quotes

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A good rule of thumb is if you've made it to thirty-five and your job still requires you to wear a name tag, you've made a serious vocational error.

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Dennis Miller quotes

Funny quotes Work quotes

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The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse.

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Dennis Miller quotes

Funny quotes Work quotes

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The average Americans day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charless dart board.

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Dennis Miller quotes

Funny quotes People quotes

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And quit bringing up our forefathers and saying they were civil libertarians. Our founding fathers would have never tolerated any of this crap. For God's sake, they were blowing peoples' heads off because they put a tax on their breakfast beverage. And it wasn't even coffee.

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Quotes by Dennis Miller

Featured Quote: "Do not allow the pain of loss, to stop the process of living."

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New Updates! (5/19/2013) We've been working really hard on completing our new design and adding more member features. Once this is complete in the coming weeks there will be a lot more quotes by Dennis Miller and other authors. We've also changed the sorting on the site so you now see the latest Dennis Miller quotes first. Our goal is to have the best Dennis Miller quotes on the web!