Tommy Cooper Quotes & Sayings

Below are more quotes by Tommy Cooper.

Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone.

46 up, 11 down

Tommy Cooper quotes

Funny quotes Sleep quotes

favorite

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'

5 up, 2 down

Tommy Cooper quotes

Life quotes Funny quotes

favorite

I inherited a painting and a violin which turned out to be a Rembrandt and a Stradivarius. Unfortunately, Rembrandt made lousy violins and Stradivarius was a terrible painter.

3 up, 0 down

Tommy Cooper quotes

Music quotes Painting quotes

favorite

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'

24 up, 4 down

Tommy Cooper quotes

Funny quotes Driving quotes

favorite

A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'

8 up, 4 down

Tommy Cooper quotes

Funny quotes Dogs quotes

favorite

Tommy Cooper quotes

Live Chat (Members Only)

Quotes by Tommy Cooper

Featured Quote: "The Word of God is truthfully faithful, reliable and dependable. It is proven true and worthy in times of desperate need and our darkest hours. You can take them to a bank and cash them. But you must believe."

added by: geraldinevermaak

Top Users This Week

NaughtyNishan
283k

GreenMonk
66.3k

Mohd_Aariff_Khan
722.5k

Users Online

New Updates! (5/24/2013) We've been working really hard on completing our new design and adding more member features. Once this is complete in the coming weeks there will be a lot more quotes by Tommy Cooper and other authors. We've also changed the sorting on the site so you now see the latest Tommy Cooper quotes first. Our goal is to have the best Tommy Cooper quotes on the web!