TOPIC
AUTHOR
Close
Search
Close
Search
Close
Search
Close
Search
EVENTS
MEMBERS
LOGIN
SIGN UP
Quotes
Topics
Pictures
Questions
Authors
Blog
About
Terms
Privacy
Sitemap
Get in Touch
Advertise
Removal Request
Subscribe
Contact Us
Social
Facebook
Instagram
Twitter
Pinterest
Close
Submit Quote
Latest Quotes
Browse our latest quotes
Topic List
Categorized list of quote topics
Famous Authors
Alphabetical list of influential authors
Picture Quotes
Custom and user added quotes with pictures
Quotes
Questions
Submit Quote
Terry: Actually, Greg married once. Greg: I was confused. Is that why you're here, Stan? Are you confused?
American Dad
2 Likes
2 Comments
RELATED QUOTES
CIA Man 1: Hey, wanna get baked and ride the escalators at the mall? CIA Man 2: Do I!
American Dad
1 Likes
Sponsored Links
Klaus: You know what looks good to me? Francine bent over that sink. Francine: Klaus, calm down.
American Dad
0 Likes
Hayley: It's just toast, Dad. Stan: This time it was toast, Hayley. This time.
American Dad
32 Likes
Stan: Here's your allowance, champ! Steve: Wow... a whole five bucks. Stan: Yeah, I'm gonna need change.
American Dad
3 Likes
Roger: Oh, don't everybody help at once. Francine: My goodness, Roger! When was the last time you weighed yourself? Roger: Oh, oh, ow. Ow, Francine. You know, we can't all look like those anorexic aliens on the James Cameron movies. Francine: I'm sorry, Roger, but I'm putting you on a diet. Starting today, no more junk food. (Takes Roger's donut) Roger: What?! No, not my Frankenberries! Oh, Francine! Please be reasonable! (Gets on table trying to get his donuts, breaks table) Oh, God! I got a bear claw in my ass!
American Dad
35 Likes
Sponsored Links
Girl: Hey, I love your dog. Guy: Hey, want to come back to my apartment and pet my schnauzer? Girl: Okay. Guy: And then we can play with this dog.
American Dad
8 Likes
Stan: (With gun, searching the house) Osama, is that you? (Hears noise, fires gun) Roger: Geez, Stan, what gives? Holy Toledo, you killed your son's dog! And don't ask me to bring him back with that E.T. finger thing because that's a giant load of crap.
American Dad
2 Likes
Stan: (Picks up telephone) This is Stan Smith. Principal Lewis: Mr. Smith, I'm afraid there's a problem with your son. Stan: Oh, God, he's gay. This is it. This is the gay call. I've been ready for this for years. (Starts chugging down pills) Principal Lewis: Uhh, no. It's just that he's gone mad with power. He evacuated the entire school and barricaded himself in my office. Stan: I see. (Foam starts coming out of his mouth) Henry, antidote!
American Dad
6 Likes
Steve: Bobby, get over here, I want my Shazzam shirt dry cleaned and pressed by third period. Oh, and another thing, all periods will now be called Steves. (Shift to a classroom scene) Boy 1: (To another boy) Hey, I'm thinking of cutting third Steve, you in? Boy 2: Yeah, as long as I'm back by fourth Steve. Teacher: (To class) So, if it's a statement, it should always be followed by a Steve. Girl: Mr. Phillips, may I be excused? I'm having my Steve.
American Dad
10 Likes
Hayley: Oh my God. Dad, why is Hilary Duff in our house? Stan: Hilary is here of her own free will because she wants to have dinner with Steve. Steve: Hilary, could you pass the salt? Stan: (Holding gun to her head) Pass him the salt.
American Dad
50 Likes
Sponsored Links
Hayley: (To Stan) You know, Steve's dog would still be alive if you right-wing lunatics would agree to gun control. Stan: You know what I have to say to that? (Pause) Ah, I thought I was gonna fart.
American Dad
12 Likes
By the way, Haley, oh my God, these Chocodiles, these Chocodiles Haley, oh my God, these Chocodiles, oh my God! -Roger
American Dad
12 Likes
TRENDING
TRENDING TOPICS
Apr 24
40th Birthday
Anzac Day
Bad
Being Confident
Christmas Inspirational
Confidence
Conscience
Diversity
Dogma
Example
Getting Old
Homewrecker
Independent Women
Memories
Problem
Saying
Separation
Two Faced People
War
Weapons
ABOUT
Terms
Privacy Policy
Removal Request
Sitemap
Contact Us
OUR GOAL
Our goal is to help you by delivering amazing quotes to bring inspiration, personal growth, love and happiness to your everyday life.
© 2024 SearchQuotes™