George Carlin Quotes & Sayings

Below are more quotes by George Carlin.

The Religious Right dislikes both abortions and homosexuality. But who has fewer abortions than gays?

I was scared to death because for the comics of my generation, HBO specials are like the pinnacle. I'm thinking of all these unbelievable comedians I've seen on HBO: Chris Rock, George Carlin, Damon Wayans, Richard Pryor and Billy Crystal. I started having a panic attack seeing my name in that list of people. It was pretty overwhelming.

I love comedy and I would write things to myself as an exercise in writing. I didn't do well for years, and I quit. I started to break down why I was afraid and started to look at people I admired, like Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy, Freddie Prinze, George Carlin and all. I said, To get to where they are, they all have had to endure bad nights and it's not easy. If the worst thing that can happen is that nobody laughs, then I can deal with that, because the worst thing that can happen at the factory is that I could lose a limb or be crushed by a huge machine.

Religion is like a pair of shoes.....Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes.

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George Carlin quotes

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Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be.

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Quotes by George Carlin

Featured Quote: "Dont mix bad words with your bad mood. You'll have many opportunities to change a mood, but you'll never get the opportunity to replace the words you spoke."

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New Updates! (6/19/2013) We've been working really hard on completing our new design and adding more member features. Once this is complete in the coming weeks there will be a lot more quotes by George Carlin and other authors. We've also changed the sorting on the site so you now see the latest George Carlin quotes first. Our goal is to have the best George Carlin quotes on the web!