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Unless your name is GOOGLE...stop acting like you KNOW EVERYTHING...

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Wanna come over to MySpace and Twitter my Yahoo till I Google all over your Facebook?

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Facebook is the only place where it's acceptable to talk to a wall.

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Why is there a show called When animals attack? It should be called When stupid people go near dangerous animals.

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Facebook is like a fridge. When you're bored you keep opening and closing it every few minutes to see if there's anything good in it.

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Congratulations!! You are the 100th person to view my status. To see your prize please click Control + W.

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Facebook is like jail, you sit around and waste time, write on walls, and get poked by people you don't know.

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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

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Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

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The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.

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If I found out I only had a week to live, and could go anywhere in the world, I think I'd go to the hospital because that sounds serious.

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