Tommy Cooper Quotes & Sayings

Below are more quotes by Tommy Cooper.

Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone.

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Tommy Cooper quotes

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You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'

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I inherited a painting and a violin which turned out to be a Rembrandt and a Stradivarius. Unfortunately, Rembrandt made lousy violins and Stradivarius was a terrible painter.

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Music quotes Painting quotes

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You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'

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Tommy Cooper quotes

Funny quotes Driving quotes

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A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'

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Tommy Cooper quotes

Funny quotes Dogs quotes

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Tommy Cooper quotes

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Quotes by Tommy Cooper

Featured Quote: "Never stop doing little things for others. Sometimes those little things occupy the biggest part of their hearts."

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New Updates! (5/22/2013) We've been working really hard on completing our new design and adding more member features. Once this is complete in the coming weeks there will be a lot more quotes by Tommy Cooper and other authors. We've also changed the sorting on the site so you now see the latest Tommy Cooper quotes first. Our goal is to have the best Tommy Cooper quotes on the web!