TOPIC
AUTHOR
Close
Search
Close
Search
Close
Search
Close
Search
EVENTS
MEMBERS
LOGIN
SIGN UP
Quotes
Topics
Pictures
Questions
Authors
Blog
About
Terms
Privacy
Sitemap
Get in Touch
Advertise
Removal Request
Subscribe
Contact Us
Social
Facebook
Instagram
Twitter
Pinterest
Close
Submit Quote
Latest Quotes
Browse our latest quotes
Topic List
Categorized list of quote topics
Famous Authors
Alphabetical list of influential authors
Picture Quotes
Custom and user added quotes with pictures
Quotes
Questions
Submit Quote
When you look like I do, it's hard to get a table for one at Chuck E. Cheese.
Zach Galifianakis
8 Likes
8 Comments
RELATED QUOTES
I never really did the club stuff; I'm really kind of a wimp that way. I just stay mostly in Los Angeles and perform in front of people wearing ironic T-shirts. That or a few goth chicks.
Zach Galifianakis
20 Likes
Sponsored Links
I was talking to my mom the other day, and she called me a weirdo. It was the first time I'd ever heard her say that, and I told her that I thought she was weird. So we got that out of the way. I think that I could be in porno, but as long as I was flying my parents around, they wouldn't really care.
Zach Galifianakis
13 Likes
I'm not cynical when it comes to things that are important. I'm cynical about pop culture and all that horsesh...
Zach Galifianakis
5 Likes
I feel that living your life in contradiction keeps one confused and happy... It makes me laugh when people miscommunicate. I like walking over bridges and hate Donald Trump or anything like him. The entertainment business is both poison and honey.
Zach Galifianakis
3 Likes
I am not really into porn. I have always wanted to go to a table read for a porn though. If I were to pick a genre it would have to be kitty porn often confused with you-know-what.
Zach Galifianakis
1 Likes
Sponsored Links
It was in the back of a hamburger joint in Times Square. I did a joke about not wanting to sleep on a girl's futon because it rhymed with crouton. I do not recall anyone laughing.
Zach Galifianakis
4 Likes
When I first got to L.A., I had a pretty good setup. I convinced a mechanic to let me live in an Audi that was waiting to get fixed. I'd drive it around for a while, then it would break down and have to be fixed again, which meant I got to keep it for a little while longer. It was kind of an everybody-wins situation, except for the poor lady who was waiting for her Audi.
Zach Galifianakis
9 Likes
I knew from day one, when the VH1 guys came in and said, 'Don't make fun of Cher, don't make fun of Sheryl Crow.' Whatever their rotation was at the time. I was like, 'Well, this isn't a good marriage.'
Zach Galifianakis
1 Likes
If I were 26 and this was happening, it would be all great, and I would probably buy like 17 Dodge Vipers. But right now it's just a major inconvenience.
Zach Galifianakis
3 Likes
My brother was torturous, I guess, but in a funny way. He used to say to me, 'I'm giving you a gag order,' then stuff his dirty underpants into my mouth. He used to drag me stark naked across the lawn, then hold me up by my ankles for the passing cars to see.
Zach Galifianakis
18 Likes
Sponsored Links
I love to do shows in unlikely places, because the audience's expectations are less fixed.
Zach Galifianakis
2 Likes
Wherever there's something that people don't feel comfortable talking about, that's where the good jokes are...A bad comic follows his audience, catering to whatever they want; a good comic will always lead.
Zach Galifianakis
5 Likes
TRENDING
TRENDING TOPICS
Mar 30
Baby
Being The Other Guy
Birthday Wishes
Black Saturday
Brotherly Love
Clever Life
Confidence
Drama Queen
Drinking
Envy
GIVING UP
Happy
Holy Saturday
Lenten
Letting Go
Life
Love
Masonic
Missing You
Struggles
ABOUT
Terms
Privacy Policy
Removal Request
Sitemap
Contact Us
OUR GOAL
Our goal is to help you by delivering amazing quotes to bring inspiration, personal growth, love and happiness to your everyday life.
© 2024 SearchQuotes™