Funny Facebook Status Quotes & Sayings

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Total: 567 Quotes
I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be Nobody so when I see stupid crap people post, I can Like it. And it will say Nobody Likes This.
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Suggest Revision: I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be Nobody so when I see stupid crap people post, I can Like it. And it will say Nobody Likes This.
 
Facebook is like jail, you sit around and waste time, write on walls, and get poked by people you don't know.
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Suggest Revision: Facebook is like jail, you sit around and waste time, write on walls, and get poked by people you don't know.
 
The teacher asks Timmy
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Suggest Revision: The teacher asks Timmy
 
If you're talking behind my back, you're in a good position to kiss my ass!
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Suggest Revision: If you're talking behind my back, you're in a good position to kiss my ass!
 
Admit it, at least once in our life we have all tried to balance the light switch between the on and off position.
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Suggest Revision: Admit it, at least once in our life we have all tried to balance the light switch between the on and off position.
 
Drunk people run stop signs, high people wait for them to turn green.
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Suggest Revision: Drunk people run stop signs, high people wait for them to turn green.
 
Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.
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 Funny Facebook Status quotes 
Suggest Revision: Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.
 
Wife: honey I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear! Husband: kitchen, living room, dinning room, patio
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Suggest Revision: Wife: honey I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear! Husband: kitchen, living room, dinning room, patio
 
...condom says to the tampon,
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Suggest Revision: ...condom says to the tampon,
 
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Monday, May 20
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Face book is a very popular social networking website, interconnecting millions across the world. Face book, originally called Face smash, is a brainchild of Mark Zuckerberg. There are various applications, games and other interactive features that face book provides to all its members. Every member who has an account on face book has a homepage which is popularly called the "wall". On the wall, there is a space, where the face book user can speak his mind and use it to communicate or share his feelings with other face book users, whom he or she has listed as his friends. Funny face book status indicates any such status update which generates a lot of laughter and which people find really amazing. In the words of Sophia Bush, "I think the sexiest thing on anybody is intelligence. I respect somebody who has a brain and wants to use it more than a pretty face and status."
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