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Andy Rooney Quotes & Sayings
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48 entries tagged including 29 subtopics.
Last updated Mar 2024
Andy Rooney Topics
Funny
Teachers
Great Christmas
Best Christmas
Irony
Dieting
Books
Politicians
Patriotism
Native Americans
Hunting
Cute Dog
News
God
Life
Food
Money
Computers
Television
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Appearance
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Smiling
Smile
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Beautiful Christmas
QUOTES
One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly.
Andy Rooney
66 Likes
Best Christmas quotes
Great Christmas quotes
Beautiful Christmas quotes
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The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books; how not to eat what you've just learned how to cook.
Andy Rooney
23 Likes
Dieting quotes
Books quotes
Irony quotes
I've done a lot of complaining here, but of all the things I've complained about, I can't complain about my life.
Andy Rooney
12 Likes
Life quotes
When a politician mentions God half a dozen times in a speech, it's to appropriate for his campaign the name "God." He's suggesting that God has endorsed the ticket and given permission to have His name used in promotional material in exchange for certain considerations, like school prayer. There are lots of cheap tricks used in political campaigns, and evoking God's name is one of them.
Andy Rooney
12 Likes
Politicians quotes
God quotes
I dislike loud-mouthed patriots who think they like our country more than I do. Some people's idea of patriotism is hating other countries.
Andy Rooney
20 Likes
Patriotism quotes
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Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning 'lousy hunter'
Andy Rooney
45 Likes
Native Americans quotes
Hunting quotes
Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent of everything printed out by a computer is garbage that no one ever reads.
Andy Rooney
11 Likes
Computers quotes
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
Andy Rooney
2 Likes
Computers quotes
When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.
Andy Rooney
2 Likes
Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter.
Andy Rooney
6 Likes
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The Super Bowl isn't for kids, I had a great time though and it was worth every nickel of it because by doing this lame piece about the game I can put it on my expense account.
Andy Rooney
13 Likes
The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians.
Andy Rooney
1 Likes
The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect, except that you can't eat it. We should make every effort to make sure this disease, often referred to as 'progress', doesn't spread.
Andy Rooney
4 Likes
The dullest Olympic sport is curling, whatever 'curling' means.
Andy Rooney
2 Likes
The closing of a door can bring blessed privacy and comfort - the opening, terror. Conversely, the closing of a door can be a sad and final thing - the opening a wonderfully joyous moment.
Andy Rooney
4 Likes
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The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
Andy Rooney
137 Likes
Cute Dog quotes
The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men.
Andy Rooney
3 Likes
Taxes are important. President Bush's tax proposals leave no rich person behind. Voters approve of President Bush helping the kind of people they wish they were one of.
Andy Rooney
1 Likes
Obscenities... I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't think of what they want to say and they're frustrated. A lot of smart people do it to pretend they aren't very smart - want to be just one of the boys.
Andy Rooney
7 Likes
Nothing in fine print is ever good news.
Andy Rooney
12 Likes
News quotes
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