Dave Barry Quotes & Sayings

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Total: 202 Quotes
 Dave Barry quotes 
 Technology quotes 
Suggest Revision: One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks to a computer microchip, can actually travel ahead in time and shave beard hairs that don't even exist yet
 
 Dave Barry quotes 
 Ski quotes 
Suggest Revision: I now realize that the small hills you see on ski slopes are formed around the bodies of forty-seven-year-olds who tried to learn snowboarding.
 
 Dave Barry quotes 
 Scientists quotes 
Suggest Revision: Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.
 
 Dave Barry quotes 
 Science quotes 
Suggest Revision: Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.
 
 Dave Barry quotes 
 Science quotes 
Suggest Revision: It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.
 
 Dave Barry quotes 
 Richness quotes 
Suggest Revision: Bill Gates is a very rich man today .. and do you want to know why? The answer is one word: versions.
 
 Dave Barry quotes 
 Internet quotes   Pornography quotes 
Suggest Revision: A Mission Statement is a dense slab of words that a large organization produces when it needs to establish that its workers are not just sitting around downloading Internet porn
 
 Dave Barry quotes 
 Popularity quotes 
Suggest Revision: Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.
 
 Dave Barry quotes 
 Writing quotes   Funny quotes   Religion quotes   Problems quotes 
Suggest Revision: The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.
 
 Dave Barry quotes 
 Funny quotes   Pets quotes   Dogs quotes 
Suggest Revision: You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, `My God, you're RIGHT! I NEVER would've thought of that!'
 
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Quotes by Dave Barry
quotes by Dave Barry
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