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Dave Barry Quotes & Sayings
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202 entries tagged including 93 subtopics.
Last updated Apr 2024
Dave Barry Topics
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QUOTES
The Internet "browser"... is the piece of software that puts a message on your computer screen informing you that the Internet is currently busy and you should try again later.
Dave Barry
1 Likes
Internet quotes
Sponsored Links
A Mission Statement is a dense slab of words that a large organization produces when it needs to establish that its workers are not just sitting around downloading Internet po..
Dave Barry
4 Likes
Internet quotes
Pornography quotes
Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a Web page to show up on your screen. Contrary to what you may have heard, the Internet does not operate at the speed of light; it operates at the speed of the DMV.
Dave Barry
1 Likes
Internet quotes
The Internet: Transforming Society and Shaping the Future Through Chat
Dave Barry
6 Likes
Funny quotes
Internet quotes
What, exactly, is the internet? Basically it is a global network exchanging digitized data in such a way that any computer, anywhere, that is equipped with a device called a 'modem', can make a noise like a duck choking on a kazoo
Dave Barry
2 Likes
Internet quotes
Sponsored Links
The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting.
Dave Barry
26 Likes
Communication quotes
Funny quotes
Internet quotes
While you are destroying your mind watching the worthless, brain-rotting drivel on TV, we on the Internet are exchanging, freely and openly, the most uninhibited, intimate and, yes, shocking details about our "CONFIG.SYS" settings.
Dave Barry
10 Likes
Funny quotes
Television quotes
Internet quotes
The Internet is a giant international network of intelligent, informed computer enthusiasts, by which I mean, "people without lives." We don't care. We have each other...
Dave Barry
20 Likes
Internet quotes
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
Dave Barry
2 Likes
Humor quotes
Mankind quotes
Inventions quotes
History quotes
One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks to a computer microchip, can actually travel ahead in time and shave beard hairs that don't even exist yet
Dave Barry
19 Likes
Humor quotes
Funny quotes
Time quotes
Technology quotes
Sponsored Links
Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night
Dave Barry
14 Likes
Humor quotes
Funny quotes
If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings
Dave Barry
5 Likes
Humanity quotes
The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire.
Dave Barry
1 Likes
History quotes
Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
Dave Barry
6 Likes
Holidays quotes
The primary function of the government is - and here I am quoting directly from the U.S. Constitution - "to spew out paper."
Dave Barry
1 Likes
Government quotes
Sponsored Links
The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.
Dave Barry
4 Likes
Gossip quotes
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.
Dave Barry
1 Likes
Sports quotes
Golf quotes
If you asked me to name the three scariest threats facing the human race, I would give the same answer that most people would: nuclear war, global warming and Windows.
Dave Barry
23 Likes
Global Warming quotes
For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.
Dave Barry
1 Likes
Golf quotes
I care about our young people, and I wish them great success, because they are our Hope for the Future, and some day, when my generation retires, they will have to pay us trillions of dollars in social security
Dave Barry
3 Likes
Hope quotes
Youth quotes
Generations quotes
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