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Dave Barry Quotes & Sayings
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202 entries tagged including 93 subtopics.
Last updated Apr 2024
Dave Barry Topics
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QUOTES
The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of logic or science. Dennis Rodman is only one example.
Dave Barry
1 Likes
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The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.
Dave Barry
4 Likes
The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.
Dave Barry
8 Likes
The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire.
Dave Barry
1 Likes
The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs.
Dave Barry
3 Likes
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The real threat to whales is whaling, which has endangered many whale species.
Dave Barry
13 Likes
The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally take place in winter.
Dave Barry
12 Likes
The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice.
Dave Barry
3 Likes
The Internet: transforming society and shaping the future through chat.
Dave Barry
1 Likes
Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is lethal enough.
Dave Barry
7 Likes
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Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.
Dave Barry
6 Likes
Skiers view snowboarders as a menace; snowboarders view skiers as Elmer Fudd.
Dave Barry
1 Likes
Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.
Dave Barry
8 Likes
Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.
Dave Barry
1 Likes
Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
Dave Barry
2 Likes
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Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
Dave Barry
3 Likes
Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
Dave Barry
4 Likes
Newspaper readership is declining like crazy. In fact, there's a good chance that nobody is reading my column.
Dave Barry
0 Likes
Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Dave Barry
2 Likes
Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship.
Dave Barry
0 Likes
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