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David Sedaris Quotes & Sayings
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61 entries tagged including 4 subtopics.
Last updated Apr 2024
David Sedaris Topics
Computers
Funny
Sympathy
QUOTES
Do I exaggerate? Boy, do I, and I'd do it more if I could get away with it.
David Sedaris
0 Likes
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Because I've always been a fairly nervous person.
David Sedaris
0 Likes
I love things made out of animals. It's just so funny to think of someone saying, 'I need a letter opener. I guess I'll have to kill a deer.
David Sedaris
3 Likes
My family isn't really all that different from anyone else's. Well, maybe they're a bit more entertaining.
David Sedaris
0 Likes
I felt uncomfortable calling myself a writer until I started with 'The New Yorker,' and then I was like, 'Okay, now you can call yourself that.'
David Sedaris
0 Likes
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I always think it's a good policy to like the people who like you.
David Sedaris
0 Likes
But most good movies have a gun in them.
David Sedaris
0 Likes
As a foreigner in London, I like that there are so many other foreigners.
David Sedaris
0 Likes
I just think that the people who say: 'That's not true' when someone tells a story at dinner are the people who didn't get any laughs when they told their story.
David Sedaris
1 Likes
I go to the movies at least five times a week, and after a while everything becomes a blur to me.
David Sedaris
4 Likes
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I don't like being left to my own thoughts.
David Sedaris
1 Likes
I always knew I wanted it to be illustrated.
David Sedaris
0 Likes
Also, I used to think that one day I might get someone to iron my shirts, but the truth is I really like doing them myself.
David Sedaris
0 Likes
I've been keeping diaries for 27 years.
David Sedaris
0 Likes
If you're looking for sympathy you'll find it between shit and syphilis in the dictionary.
David Sedaris
29 Likes
Funny quotes
Sympathy quotes
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I recall thinking that the computer would never advance much further than this. Call me naïve, but I seemed to have underestimated the universal desire to sit in a hard plastic chair and stare at a screen until your eyes cross.
David Sedaris
5 Likes
Computers quotes
They were nothing like the French people I had imagined. If anything, they were too kind, too generous and too knowledgable in the fields of plumbing and electricity.
David Sedaris
1 Likes
I love things made out of animals. It's just so funny to think of someone saying, 'I need a letter opener. I guess I'll have to kill a deer.
David Sedaris
2 Likes
I haven't got the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out.
David Sedaris
5 Likes
After a few months in my parents' basement, I took an apartment near the state university, where I discovered both crystal methamphetamine and conceptual art. Either one of these things are dangerous, but in combination they have the potential to destroy entire civilizations.
David Sedaris
3 Likes
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