George Carlin Quotes & Sayings

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Total: 118 Quotes
 George Carlin quotes 
 Funny Gay quotes 
Suggest Revision: The Religious Right dislikes both abortions and homosexuality. But who has fewer abortions than gays?
 
 George Carlin quotes 
 Tolerance quotes   Freedom quotes   Religion quotes 
Suggest Revision: Religion is like a pair of shoes.....Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes.
 
 George Carlin quotes 
 Perspective quotes 
Suggest Revision: Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be.
 
 George Carlin quotes 
 Music quotes   Dancing quotes 
Suggest Revision: Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.
 
 George Carlin quotes 
 Medicine quotes   Doctors quotes 
Suggest Revision: Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice?'
 
 George Carlin quotes 
 Lies quotes   Humor quotes   Truth quotes   Dishonesty quotes 
Suggest Revision: The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept.
 
 George Carlin quotes 
 Funny Christmas quotes   Funny Christmas Card quotes   Humorous Christmas quotes   Short Christmas quotes   Christmas Humor quotes 
Suggest Revision: The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
 
 George Carlin quotes 
 Friendship quotes   Funny quotes 
Suggest Revision: One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
 
 George Carlin quotes 
 Funny quotes   Thanksgiving quotes 
Suggest Revision: Were having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, were having a swan. You get more stuffing.
 
 George Carlin quotes 
 Funny quotes   Thanksgiving quotes 
Suggest Revision: We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing.
 
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Quotes by George Carlin
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