George Carlin Quotes & Sayings

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Total: 118 Quotes
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 Church quotes   Humor quotes   Nations quotes   Separation quotes 
Suggest Revision: I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
 
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 Baseball quotes 
Suggest Revision: Baseball is the only major sport that appears backward in a mirror
 
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 Authority quotes 
Suggest Revision: I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
 
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 Children quotes   Death And Dying quotes   Animals quotes   Possibility quotes 
Suggest Revision: When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I always wondered who got his horse
 
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 Advertising quotes 
Suggest Revision: The caterpillar does all the work but the butterfly gets all the publicity
 
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 Addiction quotes 
Suggest Revision: Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.
 
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 Restaurants quotes 
Suggest Revision: The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.
 
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 George Carlin quotes 
Suggest Revision: The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
 
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 George Carlin quotes 
Suggest Revision: The status quo sucks.
 
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 George Carlin quotes 
Suggest Revision: The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.
 
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