Groucho Marx Quotes & Sayings

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Total: 131 Quotes
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Suggest Revision: I chased a girl for two years only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: We were both crazy about girls.
 
 Groucho Marx quotes 
 Life quotes 
Suggest Revision: Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
 
 Groucho Marx quotes 
 Life quotes 
Suggest Revision: The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words. This life, to which neither time nor eternity can bring diminution - this everlasting living soul, began. My mind loses itself in these depths.
 
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Suggest Revision: Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
 
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Suggest Revision: I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
 
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 Funny quotes 
Suggest Revision: Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
 
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 Funny quotes 
Suggest Revision: Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
 
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 Funny quotes 
Suggest Revision: A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
 
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 Funny quotes   Bed quotes 
Suggest Revision: A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
 
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 Groucho Marx quotes 
Suggest Revision: I find television to be very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go in the other room and read a book.
 
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Quotes by Groucho Marx
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