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Henny Youngman Quotes & Sayings
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47 entries tagged including 12 subtopics.
Last updated Mar 2024
Henny Youngman Topics
Women
Drink
Bachelors
Funny
Scouting
Military Family
Morning
Gold Digger
Funny Marriage
Relationship
Wedding Anniversary
QUOTES
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
Henny Youngman
123 Likes
Funny Marriage quotes
Relationship quotes
Wedding Anniversary quotes
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Someone stole all my credit cards, but I wont be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.
Henny Youngman
35 Likes
Gold Digger quotes
If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.
Henny Youngman
38 Likes
Funny quotes
Morning quotes
My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself.
Henny Youngman
12 Likes
Military Family quotes
You look like a talent scout for a cemetery.
Henny Youngman
4 Likes
Funny quotes
Scouting quotes
Sponsored Links
You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.
Henny Youngman
1 Likes
You have a nice personality, but not for a human being.
Henny Youngman
5 Likes
You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.
Henny Youngman
1 Likes
Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
Henny Youngman
1 Likes
Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
Henny Youngman
0 Likes
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While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
Henny Youngman
1 Likes
When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say.
Henny Youngman
3 Likes
Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous.
Henny Youngman
0 Likes
This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His dog graduated!
Henny Youngman
0 Likes
This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.
Henny Youngman
1 Likes
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This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
Henny Youngman
1 Likes
There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
Henny Youngman
0 Likes
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
Henny Youngman
0 Likes
The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.
Henny Youngman
0 Likes
That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!
Henny Youngman
0 Likes
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Mar 19
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