Jack Handy Quotes & Sayings

Subtopics. Find Jack Handy quotes about:
Total: 38 Quotes
 Jack Handy quotes 
 Weakness quotes 
Suggest Revision: If you think a weakness can be turned into a strength, I hate to tell you this, but that's another weakness
 
 Jack Handy quotes 
 Relationships quotes   Richness quotes 
Suggest Revision: If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like I am now
 
 Jack Handy quotes 
 Opera quotes 
Suggest Revision: I'd like to see a nude opera, because when they hit those high notes, I bet you can really see it in those genitals
 
 Jack Handy quotes 
 Danger quotes   Cowardice quotes 
Suggest Revision: If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, Mr. Brave man, I guess I'm a coward.
 
 Jack Handy quotes 
 Cowardice quotes   Danger quotes 
Suggest Revision: If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, Mr. Brave man, I guess I'm a coward.
 
 Jack Handy quotes 
 Boxing quotes 
Suggest Revision: To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other
 
 Jack Handy quotes 
 Animals quotes 
Suggest Revision: I don't like small birds. They hop around so merrily outside my window, looking so innocent. but I know that secretly, they're watching my every move and plotting to beat me over the head with a large steel pipe and take my shoe.
 
 Jack Handy quotes 
 Funny quotes   Angels quotes 
Suggest Revision: It's true that every time you hear a bell, an angel gets its wings. But what they don't tell you is that every time you hear a mouse trap snap, an angel gets set on fire.
 
 Jack Handy quotes 
 Ambition quotes 
Suggest Revision: Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition.
 
 Jack Handy quotes 
 Love quotes 
Suggest Revision: Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights,even if you don't know what your rights are, or who the person is you're talking to. Then on the way out, slam the door.
 
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Quotes by Jack Handy
quotes by Jack Handy
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Wednesday, May 22
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