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Jay Leno Quotes & Sayings
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93 entries tagged including 50 subtopics.
Last updated Mar 2024
Jay Leno Topics
Funny
Boys Suck
Jobs
Journalism
Mothers
New Year
Presidency
Ugly
Scientists
Beauty Pageant
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Men And Women
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America And Americans
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QUOTES
For the first time in history, s.. is more dangerous than the cigarette afterward.
Jay Leno
71 Likes
Sex quotes
Sponsored Links
I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'Id like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'
Jay Leno
64 Likes
Funny quotes
Food quotes
At his wife's 60th birthday party in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, Dick Cheney had a huge steak and battered onion rings for dinner. Afterward he met with 100 donors, not campaign donors, heart donors.
Jay Leno
274 Likes
Birthday quotes
60th Birthday quotes
They always say the Miss America Pageant isn`t a beauty contest, it`s really a scholarship program. If that`s the case, why don`t we just put all the contestants on "Jeopardy!" (1984) and pick Miss America that way? At least you get the smartest one.
Jay Leno
32 Likes
Beauty Pageant quotes
The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
Jay Leno
35 Likes
Funny Christmas quotes
Fun Christmas quotes
Christmas Humor quotes
Sponsored Links
A Minneapolis company has come out with a credit card size shotgun that fits in your wallet. The inventor says he invented it to give people a sense of security. Oh yeah, what makes you feel more secure than sitting on shotgun? Now how does this work? What's the first thing a thief steals? Your wallet, oh, now he's got your gun too!
Jay Leno
29 Likes
Funny quotes
Stupidity quotes
Bush said today he is being stalked. He said wherever he goes, people are following him. Finally, someone told him, 'Psst. That's the Secret Service.'
Jay Leno
22 Likes
Funny quotes
Putdowns quotes
Massachusetts became the first state to marry gay couples, though lawmakers say allowing gay couples to get married raises a lot of questions. You know, such as: does that best man invite both guys to the bachelor party?
Jay Leno
20 Likes
Funny Gay quotes
Isn't it a little ironic here? We pick politicians by how they look on TV and Miss America on where she stands on the issues. Isn't that a little backwards?
Jay Leno
14 Likes
Beauty Pageant quotes
Men are liars. We lie about lying if we have to.
Jay Leno
17 Likes
Boys Suck quotes
Sponsored Links
Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now averagewhich means, you have met your New Year's resolution.
Jay Leno
16 Likes
New Year Resolutions quotes
Famous New Year quotes
Famous New Year quotes
New Years Resolutions quotes
Funny New Years Resolution quotes
Today, one year after their divorce, Pamela and Tommy Lee announced they're getting back together. You know what that means? There's still hope for Ike and Tina Turner.
Jay Leno
29 Likes
Men And Women quotes
Divorce quotes
Politics is just show business for ugly people.
Jay Leno
14 Likes
Funny quotes
Politics quotes
Ugly quotes
Thanksgiving, when the Indians said, Well, this has been fun, but we know you have a long voyage back to England.
Jay Leno
12 Likes
Funny quotes
Thanksgiving quotes
You know what they should call this war - Son of Bush vs. Son of a bi....
Jay Leno
9 Likes
Sponsored Links
NBC - no body cares.
Jay Leno
10 Likes
Funny quotes
Television quotes
Network Television quotes
My wife is going to kill me. But you look like my wife, so that's Ok!
Jay Leno
25 Likes
Funny quotes
Women quotes
Go through your phone book, call people and ask them to drive you to the airport. The ones who will drive you are your true friends. The rest aren't bad people; they're just acquaintances.
Jay Leno
9 Likes
Friendship quotes
The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up.
Jay Leno
10 Likes
Crime quotes
Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of LA in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers.
Jay Leno
30 Likes
Basketball quotes
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