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Jay Leno Quotes & Sayings
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93 entries tagged including 50 subtopics.
Last updated Apr 2024
Jay Leno Topics
Funny
Boys Suck
Jobs
Journalism
Mothers
New Year
Presidency
Ugly
Scientists
Beauty Pageant
Marijuana
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QUOTES
CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because shes strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it.
Jay Leno
6 Likes
Unfaithful quotes
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New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive.
Jay Leno
1 Likes
New Years Eve quotes
Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now averagewhich means, you have met your New Year's resolution.
Jay Leno
16 Likes
New Year Resolutions quotes
Famous New Year quotes
Famous New Year quotes
New Years Resolutions quotes
Funny New Years Resolution quotes
The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
Jay Leno
35 Likes
Funny Christmas quotes
Fun Christmas quotes
Christmas Humor quotes
Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!
Jay Leno
31 Likes
Funny quotes
Valentines Day quotes
Sponsored Links
Thanksgiving, when the Indians said, Well, this has been fun, but we know you have a long voyage back to England.
Jay Leno
12 Likes
Funny quotes
Thanksgiving quotes
I went into McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." And the girl behind the counter says, "Would you like fries with that?"
Jay Leno
8 Likes
Funny quotes
Food quotes
Heres something to think about: How come you never see a headline like Psychic Wins Lottery?
Jay Leno
8 Likes
Funny quotes
People quotes
Men are liars. We lie about lying if we have to.
Jay Leno
17 Likes
Boys Suck quotes
Forty million Americans smoked marijuana; the only ones who didn't like it were Judge Ginsberg, Clarence Thomas and Bill Clinton.
Jay Leno
13 Likes
Marijuana quotes
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Isn't it a little ironic here? We pick politicians by how they look on TV and Miss America on where she stands on the issues. Isn't that a little backwards?
Jay Leno
14 Likes
Beauty Pageant quotes
They always say the Miss America Pageant isn`t a beauty contest, it`s really a scholarship program. If that`s the case, why don`t we just put all the contestants on "Jeopardy!" (1984) and pick Miss America that way? At least you get the smartest one.
Jay Leno
32 Likes
Beauty Pageant quotes
Scientists are complaining that the new Dinosaur movie shows dinosaurs with lemurs, who didn't evolve for another million years. They're afraid the movie will give kids a mistaken impression. What about the fact that the dinosaurs are singing and dancing?
Jay Leno
2 Likes
Scientists quotes
Al Gore has found a new job. He is going to teach journalism at Columbia University, which is ironic isn't it? The guy who did all the coke winds up going to the White House, the guy who didn't do coke goes to Columbia.
Jay Leno
13 Likes
Politics quotes
Journalism quotes
Jobs quotes
Politics is just show business for ugly people.
Jay Leno
14 Likes
Funny quotes
Politics quotes
Ugly quotes
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President Bush is taking the entire month of August off. Bush said today he thinks it is important for a president to spend time away from Washington. Or at least that's what Dick Cheney told him.
Jay Leno
0 Likes
Presidency quotes
Bush said today he is being stalked. He said wherever he goes, people are following him. Finally, someone told him, 'Psst. That's the Secret Service.'
Jay Leno
2 Likes
Presidency quotes
New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive
Jay Leno
7 Likes
New Year quotes
Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day.
Jay Leno
0 Likes
Mothers quotes
Al Gore has found a new job. He is going to teach journalism at Columbia University, which is ironic isn't it? The guy who did all the coke winds up going to the White House, the guy who didn't do coke goes to Columbia.
Jay Leno
11 Likes
Politics quotes
Journalism quotes
Jobs quotes
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