Jay Leno Quotes & Sayings

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Total: 93 Quotes
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 Beauty Pageant quotes 
Suggest Revision: They always say the Miss America Pageant isn`t a beauty contest, it`s really a scholarship program. If that`s the case, why don`t we just put all the contestants on
 
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 Beauty Pageant quotes 
Suggest Revision: Isn't it a little ironic here? We pick politicians by how they look on TV and Miss America on where she stands on the issues. Isn't that a little backwards?
 
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 Scientists quotes 
Suggest Revision: Scientists are complaining that the new Dinosaur movie shows dinosaurs with lemurs, who didn't evolve for another million years. They're afraid the movie will give kids a mistaken impression. What about the fact that the dinosaurs are singing and dancing?
 
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 Politics quotes   Journalism quotes   Jobs quotes 
Suggest Revision: Al Gore has found a new job. He is going to teach journalism at Columbia University, which is ironic isn't it? The guy who did all the coke winds up going to the White House, the guy who didn't do coke goes to Columbia.
 
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Suggest Revision: Politics is just show business for ugly people.
 
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 Presidency quotes 
Suggest Revision: Bush said today he is being stalked. He said wherever he goes, people are following him. Finally, someone told him, 'Psst. That's the Secret Service.'
 
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 Presidency quotes 
Suggest Revision: President Bush is taking the entire month of August off. Bush said today he thinks it is important for a president to spend time away from Washington. Or at least that's what Dick Cheney told him.
 
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 New Year quotes 
Suggest Revision: New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive
 
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 Mothers quotes 
Suggest Revision: Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day.
 
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 Politics quotes   Journalism quotes   Jobs quotes 
Suggest Revision: Al Gore has found a new job. He is going to teach journalism at Columbia University, which is ironic isn't it? The guy who did all the coke winds up going to the White House, the guy who didn't do coke goes to Columbia.
 
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