Louis Ck Quotes & Sayings

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Total: 21 Quotes
 Louis CK quotes 
 Louis Ck quotes 
Suggest Revision: I thought for like five years that when you have sex, you come and one of your balls comes out. That's what I thought happened, that you have to come a ball out of that little whole at the tip of your dick. I was terrified! That's what I thought, you just...Bahh! And you push a ball out and she's screaming and there's blood everywhere...and you can only do it twice and then you're out of balls. That's what I thought. You come and have two babies, and then you just walk around with an empty sack for the rest of your life. Which turned out to be true...
 
 Louis CK quotes 
 Louis Ck quotes 
Suggest Revision: You're all gonna die. Then you'll be dead for way longer than you're alive, like that's mostly what you're ever gonna be. You're just dead people that didn't die yet.
 
 Louis CK quotes 
 Louis Ck quotes 
Suggest Revision: I really think it's crazy that we hit our kids. It really is. Here's the crazy part about it. inds are the only people in the world that you're allowed to hit. Do you realize that? They're the most vulnerable and they're the most destroyed by being hit, but it's totally OK to hit them. And they're the only ones! If you hit a dog, they fucking will put you in jail for that shit.
 
 Louis CK quotes 
 Louis Ck quotes 
Suggest Revision: I read something in the paper that really confused me the other day. It said that 80 percent of the people in New York are minorities... Shouldn't you not call them minorities when they get to be 80 percent of the population? That's a very white attitude, don't you think? I mean, you could take a white guy to Africa and he'd be like 'Look at all the minorities around here! I'm the only majority.'
 
 Louis CK quotes 
 Louis Ck quotes 
Suggest Revision: You can figure out how bad a person you are by how soon after September 11th you masturbated, like how long you waited... and for me it was between the two buildings going down...I had to do it, otherwise they'd win.
 
 Louis CK quotes 
 Louis Ck quotes 
Suggest Revision: 'I'm bored' is a useless thing to say. You live in a great, big, vast world that you've seen none percent of. And even the inside of your own mind is endless. It goes on forever inwardly. Do you understand? Being the fact that you're alive is amazing, you don't get to be bored.
 
 Louis CK quotes 
 Louis Ck quotes 
Suggest Revision: Look, it's some cunt coming out of that cunt's cunt.
 
 Louis CK quotes 
 Louis Ck quotes 
Suggest Revision: Sorry, Americans only buy things that come from suffering. They just enjoy it more when they know someones getting hurt.
 
 Louis CK quotes 
 Louis Ck quotes 
Suggest Revision: My dick is too aware that your pussy is a chamber of financial ruin!
 
 Louis CK quotes 
 Louis Ck quotes 
Suggest Revision: Most people are dead. Hitler. Ray Charles. Some other guys. But mostly those two.
 
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Quotes by Louis Ck
quotes by Louis Ck
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Wednesday, May 22
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