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Milton Berle Quotes & Sayings
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26 entries tagged including 13 subtopics.
Last updated Apr 2024
Milton Berle Topics
Funny
Politics
Government
Jokes
Computers
Putdowns
Women
Opportunity
Management
Graduation
Middle School Graduation
Happy Married Life
QUOTES
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
Milton Berle
69 Likes
Graduation quotes
Opportunity quotes
Middle School Graduation quotes
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Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases.
Milton Berle
86 Likes
Happy Married Life quotes
A man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, Did you miss a step? No, he answers, I hit every one of them!
Milton Berle
47 Likes
Funny quotes
Jokes quotes
You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.
Milton Berle
36 Likes
Funny quotes
Politics quotes
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
Milton Berle
24 Likes
Graduation quotes
Opportunity quotes
Sponsored Links
Folk who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.
Milton Berle
22 Likes
Funny quotes
Government quotes
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
Milton Berle
15 Likes
Graduation quotes
Opportunity quotes
I live to laugh, and I laugh to live.
Milton Berle
4 Likes
I'd rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star. I'd rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far; for a might have-been has never been, but a has was once an are.
Milton Berle
6 Likes
We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight.
Milton Berle
7 Likes
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They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer.
Milton Berle
20 Likes
Funny quotes
Computers quotes
Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.
Milton Berle
4 Likes
Laughter is an instant vacation.
Milton Berle
3 Likes
Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.
Milton Berle
5 Likes
If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
Milton Berle
3 Likes
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Poverty is not a disgrace, but it's terribly inconvenient.
Milton Berle
2 Likes
The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring.
Milton Berle
6 Likes
A man is hit by a car while crossing a Beverly Hills street. A woman rushes to him and cradles his head in her lap, asking, Are you comfortable? The man answers, I make a nice living.
Milton Berle
5 Likes
Women quotes
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
Milton Berle
2 Likes
Opportunity quotes
A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
Milton Berle
2 Likes
Management quotes
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