Stephen Colbert Quotes & Sayings

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Total: 34 Quotes
 Stephen Colbert quotes 
 Funny quotes   Welfare quotes 
Suggest Revision: God works in mysterious ways but at least he works, he's never on welfare in a mysterious way.
 
 Stephen Colbert quotes 
 Reality quotes   Statistics quotes 
Suggest Revision: I know there are some polls out there saying this man has a 32% approval rating. But guys like us, we don't pay attention to the polls. We know that polls are just a collection of statistics that reflect what people are thinking in
 
 Stephen Colbert quotes 
 Weather quotes 
Suggest Revision: Even the weather page is in a state of moral decay. Whats wrong with red, white and blue, USA Today? This rainbow weather map is just another example of the homometerological agenda.
 
 Stephen Colbert quotes 
 Reality quotes   Statistics quotes 
Suggest Revision: I know there are some polls out there saying this man has a 32% approval rating. But guys like us, we don't pay attention to the polls. We know that polls are just a collection of statistics that reflect what people are thinking in
 
 Stephen Colbert quotes 
 Decision quotes   Press quotes 
Suggest Revision: Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces those decisions, and you people of the press type those decisions down. Make, announce, type. Just put 'em through a spell check and go home.
 
 Stephen Colbert quotes 
 Funny quotes   News quotes 
Suggest Revision: Fake news executives are nicer than real news executives, though real news executives are funnier than fake news executives. They dont know theyre being funny.
 
 Stephen Colbert quotes 
 Humor quotes 
Suggest Revision: As God said to Job, Checkmate
 
 Stephen Colbert quotes 
 Humor quotes 
Suggest Revision: I can't prove it, but I can say it.
 
 Stephen Colbert quotes 
 Humor quotes 
Suggest Revision: Now we all know that Fidel Castro dressed up like Marilyn Monroe and gave JFK a case of syphilis so bad it eventually blew out the back of his head.
 
 Stephen Colbert quotes 
 Books quotes   Facts quotes   Heart quotes 
Suggest Revision: I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.
 
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Quotes by Stephen Colbert
quotes by Stephen Colbert
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