Woody Allen Quotes & Sayings

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Total: 171 Quotes
 Woody Allen quotes 
 Funny quotes   Hollywood quotes 
Suggest Revision: In Beverly Hills...they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
 
 Woody Allen quotes 
 Funny quotes   Parents quotes 
Suggest Revision: And my parents finally realise that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: they rent out my room.
 
 Woody Allen quotes 
 God quotes 
Suggest Revision: If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
 
 Woody Allen quotes 
 God quotes 
Suggest Revision: As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
 
 Woody Allen quotes 
 God quotes 
Suggest Revision: To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
 
 Woody Allen quotes 
 God quotes 
Suggest Revision: If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
 
 Woody Allen quotes 
 God quotes 
Suggest Revision: Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
 
 Woody Allen quotes 
 Success quotes 
Suggest Revision: Seventy percent of success in life is showing up
 
 Woody Allen quotes 
 Funny quotes 
Suggest Revision: If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.
 
 Woody Allen quotes 
 Funny quotes 
Suggest Revision: I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.
 
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