Zach Galifianakis Quotes & Sayings

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Total: 21 Quotes
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 Zach Galifianakis quotes 
Suggest Revision: I was talking to my mom the other day, and she called me a weirdo. It was the first time I'd ever heard her say that, and I told her that I thought she was weird. So we got that out of the way. I think that I could be in porno, but as long as I was flying my parents around, they wouldn't really care.
 
 Zach Galifianakis quotes 
 Zach Galifianakis quotes 
Suggest Revision: I never really did the club stuff; I'm really kind of a wimp that way. I just stay mostly in Los Angeles and perform in front of people wearing ironic T-shirts. That or a few goth chicks.
 
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 Zach Galifianakis quotes 
Suggest Revision: When you look like I do, it's hard to get a table for one at Chuck E. Cheese.
 
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 Zach Galifianakis quotes 
Suggest Revision: You know you're an alcoholic when the bartender knows your name... and you've never been to that bar before.
 
 Zach Galifianakis quotes 
 Zach Galifianakis quotes 
Suggest Revision: I like to go to really bad movies, during their sixth week, and there's only one other person in the theatre, and I like to sit right next to them. And they're like, 'excuse me?', and I'm like, 'Shhh, I can't hear Keanu.'
 
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 Zach Galifianakis quotes 
Suggest Revision: At what age do you think it's appropriate to tell a highway it's adopted?
 
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 Zach Galifianakis quotes 
Suggest Revision: I think those neighborhood signs that say 'slow children playing' are mean.
 
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 Zach Galifianakis quotes 
Suggest Revision: My girlfriend looks a little like Charlize Theron...and a lot like Patrick Ewing
 
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 Zach Galifianakis quotes 
Suggest Revision: I dream of starting a three-man country trio called the Chixie Dicks
 
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 Zach Galifianakis quotes 
Suggest Revision: Did you ever wake up with an erection...and find yourself in a massage chair at Brookstone? And you yell to the sales clerk 'I'll take it!'
 
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Quotes by Zach Galifianakis
quotes by Zach Galifianakis
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Sunday, May 19
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