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Baby Dwight Schrute Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Baby Dwight Schrute" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
There are 40 rules all Schrute boys must learn by age 5. Rule 17- There are 3 things you never turn your back on- bears, men you have wronged, and a dominant male turkey during mating season
Dwight Schrute
5 Likes
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When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was having twins. When they did another ultrasound a few weeks later, they discovered that I had adsorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this? No, I believe his tissue has made me stronger. I now have the strength of a grown man and a little baby.
Dwight Schrute
12 Likes
I dont believe you, continue.
Dwight Schrute
3 Likes
I am faster than 80% of all snakes.
Dwight Schrute
3 Likes
Before I do anything I ask myself Would an idiot do that? And if the answer is yes, I do not do that thing.
Dwight Schrute
5 Likes
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The eyes are the groin of the head.
Dwight Schrute
4 Likes
You know whats better than a triceratops. Only every other dinosaur that has ever existed.
Dwight Schrute
2 Likes
Through concentration, I can raise and lower my cholesterol at will.
Dwight Schrute
2 Likes
I am not a security threat, and my middle name is Kurt, not Fart.
Dwight Schrute
4 Likes
My feelings regenerate at twice the speed of a normal man.
Dwight Schrute
3 Likes
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I dont care what Jim says, that is not Benjamin Franklin. I am 99% sure.
Dwight Schrute
5 Likes
Reject a woman, and she will never let it go. One of the many defects of their kind. Also, weak arms.
Dwight Schrute
7 Likes
Babies are one of my many areas of expertise. Growing up I performed my own circumcision.
Dwight Schrute
5 Likes
How would I describe myself? Three words: hard working, alpha male, jackhammermercilessinsatiable
Dwight Schrute
7 Likes
I am fast. To give you a reference point I am somewhere between a snake and a mongooseand a panther.
Dwight Schrute
2 Likes
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When I die. I want to be frozen. And if they have to freeze me in pieces, so be it. I will wake up stronger than ever, because I will have used that time, to figure out exactly why I died. And what moves I could have used to defend myself better now that I know what hold he had me in.
Dwight Schrute
9 Likes
I like the people that I work with, generally. With four exceptions. And I did not become a Lackawanna County volunteer sheriffs deputy to make friends. And by the way, I havent.
Dwight Schrute
3 Likes
Yes I have acted before. I was in a production of Oklahoma! in the 7th grade. I played the part of Mutey the Mailman. They had too many kids so they made up roles like that. I was good.
Dwight Schrute
8 Likes
I train my major blood vessels to retract into my body on command. Also, I can retract my pe..s up into itself.
Dwight Schrute
2 Likes
As a farmer I know that when an animal is sick sometimes the right thing to do is put it out of its misery. With the electricity we are using to keep Meredith alive we could power a small fan for two days. You tell me whats unethical.
Dwight Schrute
3 Likes
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