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Being Hit On Funny Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Being Hit On Funny" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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They played a Chris Brown marathon on the radio station today. It was hit after hit.
Unknown
104 Likes
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I really think it's crazy that we hit our kids. It really is. Here's the crazy part about it. inds are the only people in the world that you're allowed to hit. Do you realize that? They're the most vulnerable and they're the most destroyed by being hit, but it's totally OK to hit them. And they're the only ones! If you hit a dog, they fu..ing will put you in jail for that shit.
Louis CK
11 Likes
If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
Winston Churchill
3 Likes
Clean the house, you dirty mess! Please hit the f*ckin treadmill! You know what, dont even hit the treadmill.. hit the elliptical, its better for you.
The Situation
5 Likes
I've been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout. That's where I wake up, take a hit of acid, smoke a joint, and run to my sister's house and ask her for money.
Kevin Meaney
175 Likes
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I do my best proofreading right after I hit send.
Unknown
745 Likes
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I was wondering why the frisbee was getting biggerthen it hit me.
Unknown
20 Likes
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I ran into my ex the other day.put in reverse, AND HIT HIM AGAIN!
Unknown
33 Likes
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It's funny how a hello is always accompanied with a goodbye. It's funny how good memories can make you cry, it's funny how forever never seems to last, it's funny how much you would lose if you forgot about your past, it's funny how friends can just leave when you're down, it's funny how when you need someone they never are around, it's funny how people change and think they're so much better, it's funny how some many lies are packed into one love letter, it's funny how one night can hold so much regret, it's funny how you can forgive but not forget, it's funny how ironic life turns out to be, but the funniest part of all, is that none of that is funny to me.
Unknown
565 Likes
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Swing hard in case you hit it.
Dan Marino
3 Likes
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When I said I'd hit that I meant with my car.
Unknown
400 Likes
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I did not hit you I simply high-fived your face.
Unknown
104 Likes
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Hit the ball over the fence and you can take your time going around the bases.
Mickey Mantle
23 Likes
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So finally, on about the fifteenth tee, I hit the drive of my life. And any of you people who play golf, you know the drive I'm talking about. The minute you hit it, you just drop your club. You hang on to the beer, let's don't get stupid. And I watch this ball just go and go and...kind of hit this guy in the head. And I felt bad, but he overreacted, I thought. I mean, it wasn't like a square hit; it just kind of glanced off his head. But he goes whippin' his car off the freeway, like 'here we go!' Mr. Attitude! So now, he's barreling down the fairway screaming at the top of his lungs, like 'what are you, some kind of cruddy golfer?' I'm like, 'hey, I hit you, didn't I? You were traveling sixty-five miles an hour. That's a pretty good shot in my book.'
Bill Engvall
10 Likes
I've been hit hard a few times, been hit really hard a few times, but I don't think I've ever left a memorable, lasting impression on anyone I've ever hit.
Steve Yzerman
7 Likes
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I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident. I hit a bookmark.
Steven Wright
41 Likes
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I want to have 3 kids and name them Ctrl, Alt and Delete. Then if they fu.. up I will just hit them all at once.
Unknown
496 Likes
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I was standing in the park wondering why frisbees got bigger as they get closer. Then it hit me.
Unknown
50 Likes
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Memory is funny. Once you hit a vein the problem is not how to remember but how to control the flow.
Tobias Wolff
0 Likes
You can't expect to hit the jackpot if you don't put a few nickels in the machine.
Flip Wilson
10 Likes
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