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Total: 7045 Quotes
 Ellen DeGeneres quotes 
 Funny quotes 
Suggest Revision: People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.
 
 Sam Ewing quotes 
 Funny quotes   Jokes quotes 
Suggest Revision: A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime.
 
 Emo Philips quotes 
 Funny quotes   Jokes quotes 
Suggest Revision: When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.
 
 Ellen DeGeneres quotes 
 Funny quotes   Jokes quotes 
Suggest Revision: People always ask me 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, I was an accountant.
 
 Robert Paul quotes 
 Funny quotes   Work quotes 
Suggest Revision: The golden rule of work is that the bosses jokes are ALWAYS funny.
 
 Garrison Keillor quotes 
 Funny quotes   God quotes 
Suggest Revision: God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
 
 Will Rogers quotes 
 Funny quotes   Laughter quotes 
Suggest Revision: Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
 
 Jimi Hendrix quotes 
 Funny quotes   Death quotes 
Suggest Revision: It's funny the way most people love the dead. Once you're dead, you're made for life.
 
 Issac Asimov quotes 
 Funny quotes   Famous quotes 
Suggest Revision: The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the most discoveries, is not Eureka! (I found it!) but 'That's funny...�
 
 George Best quotes 
 Funny quotes   Putdowns quotes 
Suggest Revision: Robert Redford used to be such a handsome man and now look at him: everything has dropped, expanded and turned a funny colour.
 
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