Bilal Philips Quotes

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Total: 68 Quotes
 Emo Philips quotes 
 Funny quotes 
Suggest Revision: I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator.
 
 Emo Philips quotes 
 Funny quotes 
Suggest Revision: I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
 
 Emo Philips quotes 
 Funny quotes 
Suggest Revision: My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.
 
 Emo Philips quotes 
 Funny quotes   Women quotes 
Suggest Revision: I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, 'Thyroid problem?'
 
 Emo Philips quotes 
 Funny quotes   Jokes quotes 
Suggest Revision: When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.
 
 Emo Philips quotes 
 Funny quotes   Jokes quotes 
Suggest Revision: Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.
 
 Emo Philips quotes 
 Funny quotes   Computers quotes   Chess quotes 
Suggest Revision: A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
 
 Emo Philips quotes 
 Forgiveness quotes 
Suggest Revision: When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
 
 Emo Philips quotes 
 Women quotes 
Suggest Revision: You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
 
 Emo Philips quotes 
 Men And Women quotes 
Suggest Revision: I was with this girl the other night and from the way she was responding to my skillful caresses, you would have sworn that she was conscious from the top of her head to the tag on her toes.
 
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