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Billy Connolly On Getting Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Billy Connolly On Getting" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name?
Billy Connolly
10 Likes
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I don't know why I should have to learn Algebra... I'm never likely to go there.
Billy Connolly
5 Likes
There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.
Billy Connolly
6 Likes
I think my securities far outweigh my insecurities. I am not nearly as afraid of myself and my imagination as I used to be.
Billy Connolly
4 Likes
I love Los Angeles. It reinvents itself every two days.
Billy Connolly
1 Likes
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The great thing about Glasgow is that if there's a nuclear attack it'll look exactly the same afterwards.
Billy Connolly
6 Likes
I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.
Billy Connolly
6 Likes
Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey... Doesn't try it on.
Billy Connolly
24 Likes
Ally MacLeod thinks that tactics are a new kind of mint.
Billy Connolly
1 Likes
Fame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet.
Billy Connolly
4 Likes
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I used to have Mad Cow's disease, but I'm alright Nooooooooow.
Billy Connolly
142 Likes
Funny quotes
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My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.
Billy Connolly
8 Likes
I always look skint. When I buy a Big Issue, people take it out of my hand and give me a pound.
Billy Connolly
9 Likes
Funny quotes
Money quotes
I don't have wild dogs chasing people with scripts away from my door. I get my share. I've done okay. But I usually do independent stuff because that's mostly what I'm offered.
Billy Connolly
4 Likes
Scottish-Americans tell you that if you want to identify tartans, it's easy - you simply look under the kilt, and if it's a quarter-pounder, you know it's a McDonald's.
Billy Connolly
32 Likes
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Jokes quotes
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It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he's telling them all different things.
Billy Connolly
15 Likes
Judaism quotes
Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
Billy Connolly
16 Likes
Marriage quotes
I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow; redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless.
Billy Connolly
1 Likes
My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo.
Billy Connolly
10 Likes
Parents quotes
I'm famous for my bottom dances, but you'll only see my bum and willy if you raise a million pounds within an hour.
Billy Connolly
10 Likes
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