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Chelsea Handler Heart Of The Ocean Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Chelsea Handler Heart Of The Ocean" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
Are you there vodka? It's me, Chelsea. Please get me out of jail and I promise I will never drink again. Drink and drive. I will never drink and drive again. I may even start my own group fashioned after MADD, Mothers Against Drunk Driving, but I'll call it AWLTDASH, Alcoholics Who Like to Drink and Stay Home.
Chelsea Handler
36 Likes
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Most men would never tell a girl her Pikachu smells like a crab cake. It's just not done. But they would have no qualms about telling their guy friends. Similarly, if you're a guy and you pull your pants down, and the girl you're with immediately stats text messaging her friends, you have a small pe..s. Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea
Chelsea Handler
27 Likes
I love Chelsea Handler.
Lauren Conrad
2 Likes
...some of the best s.. I can barely remember.
Chelsea Handler
25 Likes
I'll always be doing stand-up as long as people are still interested in seeing me.
Chelsea Handler
3 Likes
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I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people.
Chelsea Handler
31 Likes
Along with the 97 percent of women who can see, I have never been a fan of redheaded men.
Chelsea Handler
21 Likes
I think Chelsea Handler is the funniest woman.
David Alan Grier
1 Likes
Men dont realize that if were sleeping with them on the first date, were probably not interested in seeing them again either.
Chelsea Handler
46 Likes
Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with some one long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.
Chelsea Handler
24 Likes
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Everyone, calm down. I met with mr. Cent about a potential project. Theres nothing to report yet, ill let you know if there is.
Chelsea Handler
2 Likes
My whole life is reading tabloid magazines. It's really sad, because that's what my show is all about, what is going on with celebrities. So I have to know everything.
Chelsea Handler
0 Likes
It became clear when I got in my car that Persians are only really good for two things. Oil and hummus.
Chelsea Handler
14 Likes
The show is a behind-the-scenes look at what happens at our office when the cameras are off...A perfect platform for people who have no business being on camera.
Chelsea Handler
10 Likes
I had to feign interest in all this nonsense until I could ask when I could come over and sit on his face. I didn't say that out loud, of course. I never say the things I really want to. If I did, I'd have no friends.
Chelsea Handler
30 Likes
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Ivory's the kind of girl who gets drunk and immediately starts slurring. I have a lot of friends like that, and I think it's because it makes me look 'more together.
Chelsea Handler
12 Likes
Lydia was the kind of friend whom people referred to as a 'party favor' -- always fun to be around but she doesn't have any patience for suffering unless it's her own.
Chelsea Handler
5 Likes
Why he would agree to install an eight-by-eight-foot fish tank and then not fill it with a single dolphin made me want to burn his eyebrows off.
Chelsea Handler
15 Likes
Paris Hilton is going on a goodwill mission to Rwanda. Its the first time an entire Third World country will have to get immunizations for a visitor.
Chelsea Handler
24 Likes
He laid into me with the same gusto as a right-wing political pundit on the O'Reilly Factor defending President's Bush right to vacation six days out of the week.
Chelsea Handler
7 Likes
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