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Suggest Revision: I like my relationships like I like my eggs. Over easy.
  
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Suggest Revision: Don't ever forget the 'L' if you ever Google, 'Grandfather Clock.'
  
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Suggest Revision: Sex is like math: You add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and pray you don't multiply.
  
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Suggest Revision: Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.
  
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Suggest Revision: I wonder if the clothes in China say, 'Made around the corner.'
  
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Suggest Revision: I refuse to go bungee jumping, I came into this world because of a broken rubber, I'm not leaving because of one.
  
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Suggest Revision: I never understood why they have life jackets under our seats on planes instead of parachutes...
  
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Suggest Revision: These animal crackers are bullshit, this elephant tastes exactly like the giraffe did.
  
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Suggest Revision: I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching...my car into reverse and driving away from the accident.
  
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Suggest Revision: That ugly moment when you about to sneeze.
  
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