Daniel Tosh Baller Quotes

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Suggest Revision: When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that's a few steps ahead is the one that's mad.
 
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Suggest Revision: My father wanted me to have all the educational opportunities he never had... so he sent me to a girls school.
 
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Suggest Revision: Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control.
 
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Suggest Revision: I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect!
 
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Suggest Revision: The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I found it!) but 'That's funny ...'
 
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Suggest Revision: The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think it's their fault.
 
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Suggest Revision: If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of the stuff?
 
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Suggest Revision: Until I was thirteen I thought my name was Shutup.
 
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Suggest Revision: In Los Angeles they don't throw out their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
 
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Suggest Revision: My act is very educational. I heard a man leaving the other night saying, Well that taught me a lesson.
 
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