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Daniel Tosh Funny Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Daniel Tosh Funny" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I found it!) but 'That's funny ...'
Daniel Tosh
18 Likes
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Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.
Daniel Tosh
31 Likes
The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think it's their fault.
Daniel Tosh
42 Likes
Funny quotes
Faults quotes
Celebrity quotes
Doing a book signing tomorrow at Barnes & Noble. Bring your own book...I haven't written one yet.
Daniel Tosh
81 Likes
Funny quotes
Writing quotes
Books quotes
Humor quotes
Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
Daniel Tosh
45 Likes
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Cheaters never prosper, unless they get away with it.
Daniel Tosh
68 Likes
If you have ever typed 'sorry not sorry' I hope you die...not sorry.
Daniel Tosh
12 Likes
Until I was thirteen I thought my name was Shutup.
Daniel Tosh
91 Likes
No one dies a virgin, Life screws us all.
Daniel Tosh
132 Likes
The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest.
Daniel Tosh
46 Likes
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If no meant no then every man would die a virgin.
Daniel Tosh
46 Likes
I have voices in my head, but they're all speaking Spanish, and I have NO idea what they're saying.
Daniel Tosh
80 Likes
When a ladder was stolen from a store the manager said that further steps would be taken.
Daniel Tosh
25 Likes
Sometimes my mind wanders; other times it leaves completely.
Daniel Tosh
43 Likes
There is nothing so annoying as having two people talking when you're busy interrupting.
Daniel Tosh
83 Likes
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Maybe everyone doesn't deserve a 2nd chance. If I can be perfect why can't you?
Daniel Tosh
36 Likes
As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two...
Daniel Tosh
48 Likes
If you had to eat another human to survive, do you think they'd taste like their ethnic background?
Daniel Tosh
31 Likes
Sometimes, when I'm feeling down because nothing seems to be going right, I like to take a home pregnancy test. Then I can say, 'Hey, at least I'm not pregnant.'
Daniel Tosh
159 Likes
My father wanted me to have all the educational opportunities he never had... so he sent me to a girls school.
Daniel Tosh
38 Likes
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