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Driving Drunk Funny Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Driving Drunk Funny" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
Social networking while driving is worse than texting while driving and drunk driving put together.
Unknown
22 Likes
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Cop pulls man over for suspicion of drunk driving. Cop: Sir have you been drinking? Man: No. Cop: Papers. Man: Scissors, I win!
Unknown
1488 Likes
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Honk if you love Jesus. Drink while driving if you want to meet him.
Unknown
76 Likes
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Drinking and driving: there are stupider things, but it's a very short list.
Unknown
34 Likes
Drunk Driving quotes
The problem with drinking and driving is the mourning after.
Unknown
27 Likes
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You know you are drunk if you swerve to miss a tree than realize it is the air freshener hanging from your mirror.
Unknown
67 Likes
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There's no question that we need tougher drunk-driving laws for repeat offenders. We need to take a lesson from European countries where driving isn't a right but a privilege.
Jesse Ventura
5 Likes
Drunk drivers are somewhat better them people texting while driving cause at least the drunk drivers are trying to look at the road.
Unknown
15 Likes
I failed my Driver's test. Driving teacher: 'What do you do at a red light?' Me: 'I usually respond to texts and check my Facebook.'
Unknown
758 Likes
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A female officer pulls over a drunk man. The officer tells him, Anything you say will be held against you! Then the drunk man yells, TITTIES!
Unknown
988 Likes
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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
Unknown
138 Likes
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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
George Carlin
67 Likes
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You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'
Tommy Cooper
70 Likes
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I hate driving behind log trucks, all I can think about is Final Destination...
Unknown
146 Likes
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No officer, I swear to drunk I'm not God!
Unknown
86 Likes
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Youre not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
Unknown
31 Likes
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I was complimented on my driving today. Someone left a note on my windshield that said, 'Parking Fine'
Unknown
305 Likes
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Listen, I'm not an alcoholic, alcoholics go to meetings. I'm a drunk, we go to parties.
Unknown
159 Likes
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The speedway ends at the cemetery.
Unknown
15 Likes
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You booze, you cruise, you lose.
Unknown
28 Likes
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