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Erma Bombeck Birthday Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Erma Bombeck Birthday" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?
Erma Bombeck
4 Likes
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Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
Erma Bombeck
1 Likes
It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
Erma Bombeck
4 Likes
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
Erma Bombeck
35 Likes
Funny quotes
Dieting quotes
Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it.
Erma Bombeck
13 Likes
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Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments.
Erma Bombeck
5 Likes
Automobiles quotes
For some of us, watching a miniseries that lasts longer than most marriages is not easy.
Erma Bombeck
0 Likes
The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
Erma Bombeck
49 Likes
Sex quotes
Funny quotes
House guests should be regarded as perishables: Leave them out too long and they go bad.
Erma Bombeck
1 Likes
In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television.
Erma Bombeck
5 Likes
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Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it.
Erma Bombeck
9 Likes
vThere is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo.
Erma Bombeck
5 Likes
Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead.
Erma Bombeck
1 Likes
The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
Erma Bombeck
11 Likes
Funny quotes
Running quotes
I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent.
Erma Bombeck
3 Likes
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I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair.
Erma Bombeck
8 Likes
Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.
Erma Bombeck
7 Likes
Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old.
Erma Bombeck
4 Likes
Funny quotes
Theft quotes
If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
Erma Bombeck
3 Likes
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
Erma Bombeck
2 Likes
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