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Erma Bombeck Mom Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Erma Bombeck Mom" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.
Erma Bombeck
27 Likes
Funny quotes
Mom quotes
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My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
Erma Bombeck
15 Likes
Funny quotes
Mom quotes
Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they're not trying to keep up with you.
Erma Bombeck
9 Likes
If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it.
Erma Bombeck
1 Likes
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
Erma Bombeck
2 Likes
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It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows.
Erma Bombeck
1 Likes
Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
Erma Bombeck
2 Likes
A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest.
Erma Bombeck
1 Likes
How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
Erma Bombeck
1 Likes
Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me. It's gossip.
Erma Bombeck
2 Likes
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I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.
Erma Bombeck
2 Likes
Humorists can never start to take themselves seriously. It's literary suicide.
Erma Bombeck
1 Likes
Never have more children than you have car windows.
Erma Bombeck
38 Likes
Funny quotes
Children make your life important.
Erma Bombeck
5 Likes
Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving
Erma Bombeck
44 Likes
Shit Happens quotes
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Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?
Erma Bombeck
4 Likes
Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.
Erma Bombeck
2 Likes
Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy.
Erma Bombeck
4 Likes
I am not a glutton, I am an explorer of food
Erma Bombeck
5 Likes
Funny quotes
Gluttony quotes
There is one thing I have never taught my body how to do and that is to figure out at 6 A.M. what it wants to eat at 6 P.M.
Erma Bombeck
2 Likes
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