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Funny Alcohol Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Alcohol" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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I wonder what the blood alcohol level is of all these mosquitos that keep biting me?
Unknown
372 Likes
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Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
Winston Churchill
14 Likes
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If alcohol kills millions of brain cells, how come it never killed the ones that made me want to drink?
Unknown
108 Likes
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It's funny how alcohol can make the clothes come off.
Unknown
18 Likes
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Alcohol: Because no great story ever started with someone eating salad.
Unknown
444 Likes
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Dear alcohol, We had a deal where you would make me funnier, smarter, and a better dancer... I saw the video... we need to talk.
Unknown
311 Likes
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Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
Frank Sinatra
83 Likes
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Mom says 'Alcohol is your enemy'... Jesus says 'Love your enemy.'
Unknown
163 Likes
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As a kid, when I would hurt myself my mom would rub alcohol on it. Which is why I drink, I'm just putting alcohol on where it hurts the most...The inside.
Jason Santana
137 Likes
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My resolution is to get healthier while still destroying myself with alcohol and drugs.
Unknown
21 Likes
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When the wine is in, the wit is out.
Unknown
18 Likes
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I like my women like I like my weekend - short, filled with liquor and gone by Monday.
Unknown
393 Likes
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Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction.
Bob Marley
120 Likes
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Alcohol, alternative to feeling like yourself. Oh alcohol, I still drink to your health.
Bare Naked Ladies
6 Likes
Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.
Homer Simpson
68 Likes
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They speak of my drinking, but never think of my thirst.
Scottish Proverb
38 Likes
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I'm worried we're not saving enough for our retirement alcohol.
Unknown
10 Likes
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A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank her.
WC Fields
18 Likes
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I never turned to drink. It seemed to turn to me.
Brendan Behan
13 Likes
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Sorry sweetie, but no. Alcohol is't an excuse for being a dirty slut. Nice try though.
Unknown
158 Likes
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